My Internal Compass Is The Kind That Draws Circles

Dear Boston,

I have no sense of direction. What do you suggest I do in order to get a feel for this new, large city.

Love,
Michael

Dear Michael,

Suck it up, grow a pair, and learn to read. Seriously? Its impossible to NOT end up where you live! Its a straight shot from most lines to your front door! The fact that you got lost five blocks in the other direction (ie, nearly walking INTO the Harbor when you should have been heading the other way) or walking in circles at midnight shows that you will clearly die on the streets of Boston. This is how the homelessness problem got as noticeable as it currently is-- they're not homeless, they're just as lost as you seem to get.

No Love,
Boston
(P.S., Fenway is in the OTHER direction. If you could read a map, you'd know that, and NOT end up in Chinatown, wondering why continental drift accelerated so quickly).

So far, the score is Boston, 1, Michael, 0. I have yet to find my way to any place independently without getting lost at least once, for at least 5 minutes, which is terrible. I planned on walking the Freedom Trail totally solo the other day, but after I hit the state house I lost the line, panicked, and ended up in the West End for what seemed like an eternity. I would like to point out that the Freedom Trail is often used by foreign tourists and school children. It is easy to follow, since there is a GIANT RED LINE painted down the middle of the sidewalk that says "No really, just keep walking the way I'm going". I could not figure out how this worked, so instead I just kept walking in directions until I realized "Oh, this is where the blue line is" or "at least there is a starbucks here".

Yesterday night, I took the T back from Jamaica Plain, where I went bowling with Sarah Cohen and Scott Berghegger (Clarkies). Of course, I could barely find my way out of the station when I arrived at my stop. When I did eventually reach the surface, a tiny fact about Downtown Crossing manifested, although not to my knowledge-- there are multiple exits. Clearly, I walked out the first one (obviously, I thought, this must be where I came in. Its simple logic). 20 minutes later, I was at the harbor, beginning to panic, walking up and down Congress Ave thinking "I know this will take me right back to where I need to be. I know this."

I did not know this, and after finally finding the stop I came out of originally, there was an opportunity to orient myself and get back to Tremont Street. The horrible part about all of this is two part: 1) Downtown Crossing is SO CLOSE to where I live. Literally three blocks. Its not hard to navigate. 2) I considered just transferring to the red line to get to Park Street, which is right on Tremont. However, I said "no, that would be ridiculous, I'll just walk". Hmm.

The good news about all this is that I mastered Government Center and discovered Finagle A Bagel, the only independent food source I have been able to successfully use. Also, in a few weeks I will be able to say "oh, I know that area so well-- I got lost there SO many times."