Hillary Rodham Clinton, June 7th 2008

"So I want to say to my supporters: when you hear people saying or think to yourself 'if only' or 'what if', I say, please don't go there. Every moment wasted looking back keeps us from looking forward". -Hillary Clinton

Senator Clinton formally announced today that she is endorsing Barack Obama, after 16 months of primaries, debates, articles, mud slinging, and hard slogging campaigning. Watching her speech today was an emotional experience, even knowing precisely the kinds of words she would say, the sentiment she would express, and the message she wanted to send to the party. Still though, the emotions that I experienced watching her speech on the internet today were somehow unsuspected. I knew what she was going to say, but I didn't know that I would react to them in the ways that I did.

Personally, I'm sort of an addict when it comes to elections. I couldn't get enough discourse on the Lamont-Lieberman race in 2006, nor the Connecticut Gubenatorial Primary. I chose NPR over music on my car rides to listen to the democratic candidates speak on the radio. At age 14, I stayed up as late as I could have watching the votes roll in and out for Gore and Bush, until I had to go to bed... only to wake up to more back and forth. Oh, such extended delight and agony!

So, its an interesting position to find oneself emotionally entagled in a primary race. Yet, here I am in the sweltering heat of mid June in Worcester, made only worse by the heat of my computer in my lap, stirred by Clinton's departure from the race. The past months, the race has been my Greys Anatomy or Lost. I relished in the scandal and delighted in the plot twists. I tuned in each Tuesday night for the next installment of the drama, to see how the next episode in this great American drama might unfold. The Reverend Wright was my Isaiah Washington, the sniper fire my "who shot J.R.". Recently, I have found myself attached to the characters on the screen who make me gasp and call my mother over comments on foreign policy.

It is perhaps pathetic that I am making these connections? Maybe its symptomatic of the nature of American politics as a vehicle for pretense and pomposity. Perhaps though, its merely indicative of my place as a member of the millenial generation. We are consumers of an intense amount of visual and digital information, over achievers who want to do good, live hard, and have fun. Is it so strange that these comparisons can be drawn? So unheard of that in a generation where we codeswitch between AIM and speaking to our grandparents or talking ANTM and foreign policy that we might develop convergent connections between our politicians and Meredith Grey? Perhaps we can have it all.

Sometimes, a show like M*A*S*H can warm our hearts, make us cry when it ends, and linger with us long afterwards. And sometimes, a show like American Idol can make us call in and pledge money or simply vote. Sometimes, a show like Grey's Anatomy can make a junior in college cry in his friend's apartment because two of the patients were impaled during a train collision, and one willingly sacrifices herself to save the other.

It has been Hillary Clinton's campaign, though, that has done all three of those things.

As a white male member of the undergraduate class of 2008, perhaps it would have been expected that I should attend Barack Obama's rallies and gear up to say "Yes, I Can". Personally, I haven't been able to dissect what has made me so endeared to Hillary Clinton. Perhaps it is because our political choices end up being so dependent on our backgrounds and upbringings-- as a child of a lower middle class family, Reagan democrats in some respects, growing up surrounded by 'yes we fucking can' women-- the choice was made for me long before she announced. Something about her, though, appealed to me. Much as I prefer a McDonalds Caramel iced coffee to a venti vanilla latte, my inborn and developed tastes are predicated on the world in which I live. I vote for Clinton because I am part of that voting bloc, even though Barack Obama might better represent my ideals or opinions.

Maybe part of her appeal is that she sounds like a woman from West Haven, but with words, thoughts, and insight from the world outside those 50,000 people. That deep down, she's just a local girl done good. Much like how I try to view myself, sans the gender difference, law degree, and the elected office. We do have similar hair, though, at least when mine was growing out for Harry Potter.

The most important thing, though, is probably that there is something about Hillary Clinton's tenacity and "old fashioned" belief that one enters civil service to help others achieve their version of the American Dream that has made me feel like I have a duty to work a little harder and reach a litle farther. Or that there is possibility and hope and opportunity with hard work and determination.

So Hillary Clinton, thanks for the past few months. I'm excited for next season.

On Class, May 27th 2008

So today I went to work. When I'm working and I make a mistake, I have this terrible habit of assuming that the customer believes that I'm some dead head with no future. As though forgetting that they wanted a "two-pump-sugar-free-vanilla-latte-with-whole-milk-iced-venti... no-grande..." (which makes it hard to enter and retain in our system) rather than an iced venti 2 pump vanilla latte with whole milk* assures my inability to succeed. Knowing that I worked next to 3 other Clark students only made me feel further devaluated, as though it was reflective of my institution.

"Welcome to Clark. May I take your order?"

Now, of course I know there are so many things wrong with what I just said. I'm working there before I get my masters (potentially through my masters, but more on that below), and I work with some of the smarter and more able Clark students I have known. Furthermore, I know the intellectual rigor, mental stamina, and personal fortitude it takes to handle 300 customers having woken up at 4am. Tip your baristas, they work hard. And the whole statement above reflects my own biases and inability to change my belief that working in the service industry makes you dumb. I know firsthand that its untrue, both from myself and the saavy management I have had. Companies are made of their component parts, and they wouldn't succeed without an incredible product and the staff that provides that in a way that values the customer and keeps them coming back for more.

So perhaps this should not bring me relief. Perhaps instead, it should bring me an unrelated joy. Yet, they are not divorced entirely. When I checked my email today, there was a letter from the director of residential life and summer programs at Suffolk University. I have been hired as an Assistant Residence Director (Graduate Assistant). This means I have a room in Boston, rent free, and a $13,000 payment package for the year, part of which might be tuition remittance. I wont be swinging coffee in 11 weeks-- I'll be in downtown Boston.**

So now I have an opportunity that even my father, who has been a casual supporter of my success at best, suggests is "too good to pass up". Tomorrow I'll be calling financial aid and trying to secure some loans and grants to get my education where it needs to be-- and the rest of my life going in the direction of the starbucks patron who tips well and orders unassuming drinks.


* The difference is several hundred calories, but you cant taste the difference. Also, they'd have ordered with skim. Not soy--that is the chai crowd almost exclusively.

**If I choose to accept the deal and can get financial aid settled.

Mission Statement

I'm firing this off quickly before I go to bed. This is not the expected trend for the blog posts I expect to occur here, and therefore* this is certainly not the most fitting introduction I can make. My goals for this blog are:

*A place to verbally work out the bigger 'issues' that I'm considering on a daily/weekly basis.
*A forum to vent concerns in my daily life.
*A site that forces me to write in a manner that is more adult and well thought out than my livejournal. Though it is 7 years strong, I think its time to move onto a different platform.
*An impetus to write more frequently, and to keep my mental gears oiled up and moving slickly.
*A place to post some of my better entries from my livejournal.
*To create the kind of blog where I can write semi-intellectually, without using words like "therefore" without a little tinge of self awareness, and how douchebaggy I might sound using the word.

Best,

Michael

*twinge of douchebaggery.