I can has grownup?

The past few weeks, posting here has been light.
By light, I mean, non existent.

Mainly, I'm going to blame that on my work engagements and getting accustomed to living in Boston. Life is taking off for me in a lot of different directions right now, so I've had less time than I did this summer to decompress via verbalization. My priorities have also shifted-- no longer is watching CNN the highlight of my day.

I've started working in the office at my assistantship, and its certainly been more work than I expected. Students are confused, and while I have access to some information, I'm certainly not experienced at the workings of the office. So, while I have been able to do what I can, for the most part it feels like the blind leading the blind. On top of that, I'm fielding parent phone calls and working on developing a university sponsored organization with a 5 figure budget.

The other day, I received notice that I will be starting my judicial responsibilities as well. Adjudication is part conversation, part confrontation in my mind. It requires patience, knowledge of policy, and professionalism. These are not my strong suits at all. How am I going to be a University Judicial Officer, when my personality is better suited to observation or having fun? Can you host a judicial meeting where you make a student laugh, and still be effective as an official? As an administrator? As a disciplinarian?

Aside from a job bordering on professional with real responsibilities, I've discovered that I've been trying to develop adult relationships with my parents. Today, I invited them up to Boston for a weekend. In short, they are visiting me of my own accord. Not because they're moving me out, not because they're giving me money, but as a social call. I have chosen to host them. I suppose these aren't necessarily large responsibilities or transformations, especially when my mother and I are particularly close. However, the situation and experience of this visit is of a tenor unrecognizable to my past experience.

I've also begun painting again, in an attempt to fill my free time with a worthwhile experience. Perhaps a hobby? An avocation? More likely, a healing experience. My former major, after the experience I had in the academy and the betrayal I felt on the eve of my thesis defense, this is a first step in the process of reclaiming something which was once so important to my life and experience, to my identity and self. It is a healing action, I hope.

I'm currently watching the RNC, and hoping I can one day be the kind of person who can vote for a candidate because they are the most qualified, not because I identify with their party. That requires many things, I think... but first, it requires the kind of adult personal growth I currently am seeking. The fact that I'm watching the RNC is probably also the reason the writing on this post is as low quality as it is. I'm too busy watching the cowboy hats swing back and forth as Cindy McCain woos me with her committment to doing good in a world so beset by tragedy. I may not agree with McCain/Palin, but I can definitely respect Cindy.